The initial months of ecstatic bliss — of that initial honeymoon period with your sweetheart — are like the first moments of holding a newborn child just fresh out of the cooker and extremely precious.
This bliss stage of our relationship will aways be running around somewhere inside our bones, flesh and blood and echoing back and forth between our heart and our sweetheart’s heart as a great spark of Life that has the capacity to deeply nourish ourselves and Life herself.
This spark of Life, this back and forth between the hearts of two people in an intimate relationship are a Gift that once sparked needs to be cultivated and maintained.
Yet, how can we really do that with not so many good role models in our families and the inundation of way way way too much information available that confuses the situation even more?
Have you ever seen someone make a fire by hand?…like they do with the old-style bow-drill fires where someone plays the cottonwood fire-board with their willow bow, spindle and astragalus bone hand-hold — like a great old Central-Asian stringed instrument?
Once enough friction with this bow-drill has been made, an ember arises and the person making the fire has to gingerly gather the ember and transfer that ember into a birds nest of stringy fiber.
Then either dancing and twirling or maybe gently blowing on that nest with the ember inside, the movement starts to spark the ember and fire into life and the nest lights up in your hand!
At the beginning of our relationships, during that stage of initial bliss, we are given an ember and nest. The quality of all of our movements both individually and with our sweetheart either assist the ember growing and circulating the warmth of Love or quickly end its life and stagnate us into the cold toxicity of the void.
In order to learn how to grow into Life-giving, inspiring adults that cultivate the warmth of intimacy we must learn to mature beyond that initial stage of bliss i.e. not clinging to infantile helplessness and instead become someone beyond who we think we know we are.
This requires a little bit of education on how the masculine and feminine really work, as well as, some practical somatic landmarks inside your body that need identifying. All very doable and tangible for anyone.
I invite you to join Joselo, Chelsea and myself on Wednesday June 8th, 2022 for a 2 hour In-person (7pm-9pm) complimentary workshop in Washington, D.C. where we offer to you:
– a brief talk on Yin and Yang in intimate relationships that includes a Q&A period where you can ask questions to a couple that has been going through this process
– a demonstration of one simple and powerful exercise that cultivates intimacy with your sweetheart
– a space for you and your sweetheart to participate in this cultivation exercise in a guided, safe environment to allow you to establish and feel these somatic landmarks in your body
Everybody (race, gender, you name it) is welcome!
Please click HERE to register as spaces are limited to the first 18 people.
Neil Lott is a mentor and guide who lives in Durango, Colorado with his sweetheart and 11-year old son. Neil assists individuals and couples in highly transformational work grounded in presence and embodiment. You can learn more about his work at Inspiring Healing.