When entering into a intimate relationship (i.e. you are having sex regardless of whether its casual or not), I would strongly ask you to consider that you being with your partner is also committing to assisting your partner work through their karma and vice-versa.

This happens whether you are conscious of it or not.

There are times for learning, exploring and screwing up — you need to understand yourself with experiences as reference points to grow from in the first place.

After this stage is more or less clarified, we all got to come grips with the fact that relationships either assist people working through their karma or they don’t.

I’m defining karma as all the acquired bullshit, unconsciousness, trauma, conditioning, and toxicities from your ancestral lineage — essentially anything unlike our nature.

This does not mean taking on the other persons karma — that’s co-dependency.

What I mean is consciously holding yourself and your partner accountable to working through each little bit of bullshit (anything unlike Love) in a loving and patient way when it comes up.

This work isn’t about it being dumped on one person via blame, shame, or superiority. Or the back and forth of this. That’s just leaf blowing your relationship and burning up your fuel to really learn something.

This work of intimacy is a path to healing for everyone and provides a larger service to the community as it will inspire other couples.

Recognize your relationship as a collective responsibility and you need to find your role in service of something greater than yourself.

For men, realize that your unconsciousness essentially dumps your karma into a Woman when you are inside her. Hence, a Women should seriously consider opening herself to Man who isn’t committed to working through his unconscious places — as when that Man is gone his imprint is still there inside her and either has to be flushed out through her internal cultivation practices or a more conscious man later down the line (the latter is one way how Men assist Women with their Karma).

A Woman’s willingness to take on her partner’s unconsciousness is a huge gift of devotion and her Love to you as a Man. Even if you as a Man are a conscious and present Man, there is always something we as men are working on.

In a healthy relating based on commitment and freedom, that unconsciousness will eventually come to light (Woman will birth it out as an un-metabolized insane energy) and then your presence as a Man can see it and then burn it up with your penetrating awareness.

I.E. you both heal simultaneously.

In an unhealthy relating, usually the Woman is left holding the bag of crap inside her making it more difficult for her to trust Men, unconsciously motivating her in times of stress and depletion, and detouring her from being able to surrender into her Heart and share her innate gifts with the community.

Relationship is a big responsibility.

Having sex is a big deal.

Therefore, make the commitment to assisting your partner working through their Karma conscious — it creates a lot more compassion for the insanity that WILL come up between you both.

Love and Firmness,

Neil