(Read out loud please.)

I’ve noticed in my relatings with women and my son that sometime there is a knife of insanity (maybe more than one) that’s buried right in the middle of the relating.

You will know if this knife is there and of insanity because nothing you do ever lands, nothing ever is good enough, there is no way for you to succeed. You will be stone-walled. Every turn will come up against some reactive resistance meant to cut you down i.e. the knife cutting you. Any attempt you make to heal or make things right will immediately come up against some new spin. Its endless.

This knife has broken the energy of the intimacy of the relating. The knife is composed of the undigested trauma, conditioning, and conditionality. It skews stories into warped projections and exudes feelings that are there to justify resistance and why the intimacy cannot open further. It’s a road block. See it for what it is.

This knife will cause you to doubt yourself if you aren’t clarified. If you become the knife i.e. react — you’ve lost and any possible peace and receptivity flees. If you ignore the knife it only gets more poisonous. If you attempt to force the knife out you most likely will get cut or drive the knife deeper.

1st thing — Actively choose whether you want to engage with this knife. If not, protect yourself and leave the relating in a way where you acknowledge to the other that you don’t know how to clean things up and that’s where you are at. Its honest and real and might actually dissolve the knife.

2nd thing – Patience and unconditional love dulls the blade of this knife and will ultimately melt it back into iron and carbon. You need an energy different and stronger than the sharp point that is meant to wound and kill.

Recognize the knife isn’t the person. Its the energy of trauma in eternal and internal stagnation creating the external insane motions and speech.

If you choose to be the one that disarms this bomb that constantly explodes (another metaphor of the knife) and wounds with its shrapnel then recognize the following…

The knife is asking you to clarify your boundaries and find a new shape in yourself and your relating. Don’t become the negative form of the shape of the knife i.e. reacting to the knife because you are still then the knife and carry its toxicity. Game over.

Become that which the knife cannot cut no matter how many times its thrown at you or in whatever way it tries to maneuver or to strike your ass. Feel the energy behind the movement of the knife until its so clear and obvious to you. Study the knife. Learn it, its motion, its motivation and how its wielded. Then bring this to light. Speak it out loud until there is nowhere for anyone to hide.

This takes a huge amount of accountability and clarity on your part.

The knife can be an impactful way for you to clarify yourself because when you doubt yourself, that means you are presenting a place that’s unconscious that the knife can jab into you. Its showing your unconsciousness. Recover from the wound of that jab or jabs (without blame) and then firm up your boundaries so it doesn’t happen again. And then assist others so they can heal.

Recognize though at some point this knife will start to seriously poison you both. It doesn’t matter who placed it there and the back and forths of the whys of this or the hows of that. Drop the story. There’s a knife there and its fucking up the relationship. Take responsibility for it and see it and make sure everyone sees it there i.e. express everything you can about it out loud.

Let’s say your the man in the relating and your woman is having you dance around like a monkey in order to appease her because if you move a certain way (i.e. usually from your place of power and integrity) it brings up her trauma and she feels the knife that’s stuck in her heart (i.e. that’s blocking her power and integrity) — that she’s afraid to remove because of how painful it already is. Maybe you put the knife there, maybe you added to it, maybe you didn’t. Doesn’t matter. Its there and you are responsible for cleaning up the environment if you are committed to be intimate with her and you consciously said “Yes” to removing it. However, if you compromise yourself (i.e. sacrifice yourself) you’ve lost your power to pull the knife out.

In my example, the knife needs to melted away or you will be continuously compromising yourself into a place that’s not meant for you to go and pulled into weakness, depletion, and exhaustion. Another maneuver of the knife succeeding in cutting you down.

There are times to be diligently patient, present and feeling while another feels the depth of how a knife is occupying their body. Then there are times to pull it out and metabolize the knife back into the iron and carbon from whence it came.

Presence though is not presence if you are sacrificing yourself to be present for another person — that’s martyrdom and self-hatred and doesn’t help anyone.

Approaching the knife, the trauma, takes care and lovingness and the samurai nature of when to hold still and when to move with exquisite speed.

Remember the knife is NOT her, its the trauma. She wants you to take it out.

At some point, you may get fed up (i.e. so big in yourself), state things so clearly, and set your boundary so firmly then the knife has no choice but to melt.

Sometime it takes the energy of the fed-upness to really stoke the fire to melt things down.

In all cases, every knife has a lesson and a way it can be dissolved without harming. And each time you do that you take part in a small step to healing the Earth.

Start pulling the knives out of you first and then help others…just like a plane ride with the oxygen masks — take care of YOU first.

And don’t forget that some knives really don’t show up until you are in relationship.

All Blessings,

Neil